Please keep in mind that the opinions posted on this blog are my own.

Everybody might have a different experience and opinions, and that's OK.

Let’s get real for a second - some adult learners treat speaking English like defusing a bomb. One wrong word, one misplaced preposition, and boom, they think the whole conversation is ruined. I call it the “Perfection Trap” - that unhelpful little voice in their heads saying “Better say nothing than say it wrong.” And yes, it’s as frustrating as it sounds… for both them and us.

Here’s the thing: perfectionism might sound like a noble trait, but in language learning, it’s the equivalent of trying to run a marathon in high heels. It slows them down, it hurts, and it’s really not necessary. So, how do we help adult students ditch the impossible quest for flawless English and start enjoying the ride? Buckle up - here’s my take.

Perfectionism: The Silent Progress Killer

Perfectionist students are often the hardest workers in the room. They take meticulous notes, do every homework assignment, and probably own three different grammar reference books. But when it comes to actually speaking? Cue the awkward pause, the nervous smile, and the desperate attempt to rephrase their sentence in their head for the sixth time before it leaves their lips.

The problem? Perfectionism hijacks fluency. They get so busy self-editing that the conversation has already moved on. And the sad part is, this fear of making mistakes robs them of the very practice they need to improve. It’s like trying to learn how to swim without ever getting in the pool because you’re worried you might splash wrong.

Why Adults Are Especially Susceptible

Kids don’t care. Teens pretend not to care. But adults? Oh, adults care a lot - about their image, their professionalism, and not looking “silly” in front of others. I’ve had CEOs who can negotiate million-dollar contracts freeze when they can’t remember the word for “scissors.” Why? Because they think one slip-up will make them look less competent.

And let’s be honest: adults have been speaking one language fluently for decades. They’re used to being articulate and in control. Learning a new language throws them back to square one, and that can feel deeply uncomfortable. Some would rather play it safe than risk the embarrassment of a mistake.

My Secret Weapon: Normalising Mistakes

One of the first things I tell perfectionist students is, “Your goal is communication, not linguistic art perfection.” Then, I make a point of making small, deliberate mistakes in class - and laughing about them. Sometimes I throw in a made-up word, or mix up “borrow” and “lend,” just to prove that the world doesn’t end when we’re not perfect.

I also love sharing my own language-learning disasters. (Like the time I confidently ordered a “pregnant chicken” in a French restaurant instead of a “roast chicken.”) These stories do more than make people laugh - they give permission to be imperfect.

Building a Safe-to-Fail Zone

If students are scared of judgment, they’ll never take risks. So I design activities where mistakes are part of the task. Games where “wrong” answers still earn points. Roleplays where they have to improvise under time pressure. Discussions where grammar isn’t corrected until the very end.

This doesn’t mean accuracy doesn’t matter - it does. But separating “fluency time” from “correction time” lets them relax during the conversation and focus on expressing themselves, instead of editing every word in their heads.

From Fear to Flow

The magic moment is when perfectionist students realise they can survive a “mistake” - and still be understood. That’s when they start leaning into conversations, trying new phrases, and even laughing when they trip over their words. And you know what? Those students often end up progressing faster than the “perfect” ones, because they’re finally using the language instead of just studying it.

I always remind them: no one remembers the tiny grammar slip you made three minutes ago. They do remember the great story you told, the joke you cracked, or the helpful advice you shared. Communication is connection, not competition.

Breaking the Perfection Trap isn’t just about teaching English - it’s about teaching courage. When students stop obsessing over being flawless, they start building something much more valuable: confidence. And that confidence fuels every part of their language journey.

So if you’re teaching adults stuck in the perfection loop, give them permission to fail gloriously. Celebrate the messy sentences. Applaud the creative word guesses. And if they ever doubt whether mistakes are “OK,” tell them this: the only people who speak without errors are the ones who never open their mouths.